QWERTYly Entertaining

SYNOPSIS: "Dashing Alejandro (Banderas) and sultry Elena (Zeta-Jones) are married and have a 10-year-old son, Joaquin (Alonso), who knows nothing of his dad’s secret swashbuckling identity. Besides, the missus would be thrilled if Mr. Z kept his sword sheathed once and for all. But when greedy villains threaten to halt California’s statehood, it’s Zorro to the rescue again."

Can’t believe this movie received such debasing critiques such as "It is good fun, but not great fun, and it’s much longer than it ought to be."
— Eric D. Snider, ERICDSNIDER.COM. Here’s another one…"The Legend of Zorro is so stodgy and slow, it makes even an out-of-control steam engine seem like nothing more than a lot of hot air." — Chris Hewitt (St. Paul), ST. PAUL PIONEER PRESS. Add to the list…"Innocuous and with more than a few laughs and rousing moments, it could make for passable family entertainment some rainy afternoon. But if you remember the first movie, it’ll feel like something’s missing."
— Paul Doro, MILWAUKEE JOURNAL SENTINEL

It made me stop and ask, does the movie deserve such reviews? Hmm…call me indiscriminating, but I think it doesn’t. (But then, helloooo..those are experts speakin’ up!) Well, I don’t care, this is "my" review section anyway and I need not be an expert..hihihi! But I have to agree with the recalling-the-first-movie part,though..the prequel(The Mask of Zorro) was indeed better. And uh..the stunts weren’t that excellent, I gotta say,too…

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the film a lot! First of all, I gotta say that I loooooooove the soundtrack..always have! It gives me goosebumps…leaves me smitten over Zorro(if he puts his mask on,that is)…and makes my heart skip a beat, all at the same time! Whew! Soundtracks always have an ‘effect’ on me everytime I watch movies.

I also admire the strong characters portrayed by the main casts especially that of "Catherine’s"..*grin*. Well, seriously…I loved how she was able to defend herself…man,she’s fast! (She even defeated Zorro..I remember..as it was shown on the prequel..).

I also enjoyed the can’t-stand-you-but-I-really-love-you relationship that Mr. and Mrs. dela Vega had. The irony in their relationship cracks me up and leaves me smitten at the same time…lol!(Duh?!?).

I really liked Adrian Alonso’s role,too. He played Joaquin, the couple’s son, whose extremely witty nature, I believe, was part of the reason why some critics said that the film was "…More Of A Cartoon.". Hmmph! Well, his character was utterly entertaining. He might’ve been exaggeratingly smart for a 10-year old but I enjoyed him ,anyway. (He was so smart I almost thought he was trained by Jack Byrnes of Meet the Fockers like that baby..what’s his name? Lil’ Jack? Lol! He was really cute,too..the baby, not Jack Byrnes!!)

Hmm..so much for the "character assessment"…

This film, apart from its being humorous, imparts important family values as well such as acceptance and togetherness through thick and thin. It tells us that the family unit, in order to stay together, has to learn how to accept each and every member..no matter what they are..no matter what they do.

I may not be in a situation which entails that I ought to remember such moral..but when fate puts me in a postition to do so, I would surely go back to the moment I watched the end part of this film and say to myself that, just as what Alejandro/Zorro had said…"My family is my life…".

"The most worthless piece of pointless filth on the modern movie screen."
— Audrey Rock-Richardson, TOOELE TRANSCRIPT-BULLETIN (UTAH)

"…mean-spirited and sophomoric sexual slapstick with all the trivial charm of a sloppy hickey on the neck…an extended dirty joke looking for perverse praise and attention"
— Frank Ochieng, MOVIE EYE

An extended dirty joke lookng for perverse praise and attention…I couldn’t agree more!! Goodness, I can’t believe I even "considered" watching this toilet-humor film. Didn’t even finish the whole thing. I was too disgusted to do so(and besides, a friend of mine, who didn’t feel like joining me in my crazy idea of waching the film, was waiting outside the movie house. Lol!)

It made me laugh,yes but the feeling of disgust that I got which stemmed from a lot(and I do mean a LOT) of the scenes just weren’t worth the merriment. Take for example that scene where Deuce had a date with that impaired lady with a hole in her neck. Stuff were squirting out from that freaky hole and right on to Deuce’s face. And another was on the latter part of the film, wherein a lady having an embedded male organ on her nose(yes..a male sex organ on her nose!) had an accident with that lady-with-a-hole-in-the-neck. What accident? You figure it out! (Should I still wonder if I feel like bile’s rushin up my throat right now?!)

I really don’t know kung anong nakain ko at that time..
What I do know, though is that I’m not..ever again..watching another film with such obscenely nauseating scenes(unless maybe if it’s free..hehehe…)

Want my money back..huhuhu! Should’ve spared it for another film. Hmmph!
Anyway, what’s done is done…no point in crying over spilled milk…

..but still I want my money back..huhuhu…impulsive me! Grrr!

At least now I know better..(but oh, I can’t begin to describe how I would loooove to have my money back..hihihi!! Di masyadong makulit,anoh?!Ok, I’ll stop.*grin*)